LILY WONDERLAND

GRAINS OF DUST

(preview)

English proofreader: Heaven Leigh

Cover photo: Silvia Veszprémiová

Facebook: Lily Wonderland

E-mail: lilywonderland2012@gmail.com

ISBN 978-80-560-0016-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may

be reproduced in any form, without permission

in writing from the author.

INTRODUCTION

There are many kinds of poetry, many ways to tell a story. The writers who are my favorites are the ones that seem to speak directly to my heart. Lily Wonderland is such a writer. Her poetry and short stories are an outpouring of her deepest feelings and thoughts, which makes it possible for the reader to easily find him or herself within the pages of this profoundly beautiful book.Open your heart and prepare for a timeless journey. It is a journey of love and loss, yet you will have for a companion along the way, hope, for the renewal of your faith in the eternal beauty that is the human heart.

Heaven Leigh, author of “Nina’s Story: The Crimson Flowers”

Dedication

Just how long is human life...Memories emerge independently and often a thousand pages are not enough to hold all of the experiences.When one tries to recapture all of his life, it doesn’t tell the whole truth, and he finds that he has missed so many memories. Dreams are helpful. We are safe while dreaming. When we awake, we find their meaning. Dreams may seem to be true, but to dream reality is many times more dangerous...I would like to dedicate this book to someone who is no longer with us, someone whose passing caused a lot of heartache, but we understand that he had to go. We love him unconditionally. We know that although far away, he is still alive in another form of existence. He taught us to live despite unbelievable pain, despite the bridge, on the end of which, we suddenly found ourselves.I would like to dedicate this book to my brother, whom I never got the chance to know better.I know that you are among us, despite cruel destiny. You will always live in our hearts and we will never forget you. Be very happy where you are now, because you truly deserve it. You are now what you always wanted to be...

Making A Song

I'm looking for a world from which I came

I'm looking around to see an angel

He opens his innocent wings

Then caresses a lonely flower

The sky darkens from the hailstone shower

The flower is breaking

Love and hope disappearing

The angel goes away

Why does the world lie?

The flower stands alone in the wind and pain

It's last hour is ticking away

Picks his head up looking for the sun

But the sun is hiding behind the clouds

The flower is dying in sadness

Takes his last breath and says:

"I truly loved you."

The angel flies away

Why does the world lie?

The angel floats, flies and cries

Sits on a stump and touches the sky

Looking for the world in his lost soul

Looking for the world he came from but is no more

The world that is so far away

Forgotten love

Stars shining on his way

Full moon, ebb and flow

Why does the world lie?

Unspoken words

Unanswered questions

Unfinished sentence after the dots

A touch from the sky

A broken heart

Why does the world lie?

The angel opens his morning wings

Trying to fly away for one last time

The last breath, heart is slowly stopping

The soul of the angel leaves for ever and never dies

Why does the world lie?

Why is there no love?

The angels land on Earth

Witnesses of the past, sunrise, warmth in the heart

The soldiers of love holding hands

They breathe life into the angel

Unexpected miracle

They rise up together into the skies

Laughing, dancing, flying away from the past

The world doesn't lie!

The world doesn't lie!

This wonderful world does not lie!

A golden tear lands on the Earth

In the form of a man

Love beams

Created by the angel of eternity

His message is called love

The world doesn't lie!

The world doesn't lie!

This wonderful world does not lie!

A golden tear in the eyes of all who knew him

Truth from the truth, the love of an angel.

Cry Of The Soul

Look, I am there, in your thoughts and your prayers

Holding your hand, always by your side

Look at the sky, there I am, there we are

In the silent whisper I am praying for you

Nobody knows my suffering

Nobody knows what is happening

Lord give the solution, given the strength

I need your power

Praying for a better day

You´ll find the perfect way

What makes you feel better

Takes away the pain

Nobody knows, nobody understands

It isn´t the end of the fairy tale!

Deep in speechlessness

Waiting kills me slowly

Nobody can take it away

Lord please, make that change

Losing my mind, lost in pain

Is there a price? What do we gain?

There´s no meaning in words

Somewhere I hear the song of birds

It touches my soul, whispers: "You are the world!"

Take away this sorrow

Awake to a better tomorrow

Please help in the darkness days

Hear our prayers

If there is an end

If the blood flows from the vein

The sun no more shines in the sky

The child never grows

The heart beats too slowly

Going crazy

Screaming for help

A silent whisper

Dies in anguish

Lived in sorrow

Never see tomorrow

Nobody knows who he was

Nobody knows his real face

Weight of the truth

Strength of his love

It wasn‘t his life

Just a reality that we tried to dream

Stolen from rivers and streams

No possibility to hold you again

Gloomy sting, killed in the day

Returning at night, left in sorrow

Bring us miracles

Dry our tears

Lost in the pain

What have we gained?

To Touch The Stars For Once

You're standing alone waiting for... What are you

waiting for?

You raised your arm and stroked the contours of the angel

that visited you in your dream.

Then the angel vanished...

You're looking in the mirror with tears in your eyes.

You feel the breath of the angel on your face.

Burning sensation on your hand from his gentle touch.

"Where are you? Why can't I see you?!" You scream

into the empty room.

You're alone...

You ask: "Why me?"

And suddenly you see...

The angel standing behind you.

He bows his head on your shoulder,

embraces you with wings and smiles.

"I thought I lost you!" You call out.

"I will always be with you, although you will

not be able to see me sometimes,"

replies the angel.

You are not alone. The angel is with you.

Even if he comes only in your dreams.

You feel the warmth of his love, his breath,

his sweet kisses.

So open your eyes and smile!

Steps

Silent dark that embrance us

Tears, which we cry at night

Pressure of the simple days

Pillow wet from sobbing

Timeless passion

The frozen smile

Bird without feathers

A letter what you won´t read

Hands without touch

Bleeding feelings

Dead emotions

The mind without the heart

The heart refuses love

Death brings you back to life

Nevertheless there is hope in

waiting for someone

Sunrise on the beach

Moon and stars

Many words, doesn’t mean

much meaning

Eyes that knew

Lips that kissed once

Hands that held once

Silent truth

Wind that erased your steps

Snow falling down that covered them

Landing on the face

Reminding me of you

The chill forgot the taste of your kisses

Hair turning white

Heart beating faster

When I´m looking for your steps

I love what you are hiding

I cannot turn away

Untouchable distance

Then I see it...

The marks of your steps in the snow.

Time

Time to let go if you have to...

Time not to beg, not to ask for anything else...

To remember how he was before they met...

Keeping the memory in your heart that won't be erased by time...

To love by a never-changing likeness of love...

Thanking God for the treasured time...

Dying bit by bit every day with the knowledge that he will never return...

The future that was left unrecorded in the book of life.

A dark line crossed out after the word 'past'.

A hand suddenly slipping out from the safety of the other.

Loneliness... deserted...

Time, that occurred in a moment when his face turned

into a picturesque statue carved in your heart.

Time to say 'goodbye' and never look back.

Twilight

A cloud obscured the reflection of the escaping light in front of me. Because of the emptiness that numbed my pain I couldn't feel anymore. I wanted to scream, but a bolt of lightning blocked my voice... beyond the window... outside.There was freedom.My soul felt trapped like a butterfly who had just broken his wings crashing into the window, while trying to get inside to escape the storm causing havoc. Maybe he could still see the light inside, the hope that eventually cost him his life.Another hit... I jumped in fright while sitting on my bed.I couldn't find sleep and escape the pain.

„Just for a while let me doze off!“

I screamed at the nightmare but it only returned a nasty sound of laughter.I began sweating. Something was pushing me forward. I stopped on the green field, soaked through by the falling drops of rain.

„Freedom! Freedom at last!“  shouted and then danced like crazy. I was alone but I was free at last.

Another lightning bolt. It was very dangerous, yet so pretty. It belonged to only me. I closed my eyes and gave into the energy that overcame my body.I wasn't scared anymore...

Judgment Day

Do you know what it is that I see here every day? Do you ever think about it?I am talking about people, not about a specific person, not about you, not about me... it is in each of us, without exception.Lies. Too many lies. You see the words of love everywhere but when the Judgment Day arrives, love disappears. People turn into backstabbers, throw the love away to save their own skins, and don't face up to it.The unreal world of the internet is a vast place. A misunderstood place.We forget how to smile, forget how to do what we love.Taking care of someone 'unknown' becomes more important than everything else.I loved to be here. We all did. But we were all disappointed in one way or the other. It scares me. Just the thought of it... that I don't like this place anymore and still this place gives me more than it takes.Today is the Judgment day...

I´ve run from the responsibility many times. Yes, I did. We all are doing this. This is the magic of this life... to dream in reality. All the time we are looking for something, someone and then we throw it away because we have learned this part... the part that starts with a question:

'Can I believe in fairy tales?'

I am scared, as if my eyes have opened. I learned what I had to do, but I did not do it. Is it too late now?After years of unbelievable happiness, touching the stars and falling into the deepest deep, after the experience that I went through, today I know what I have to do.Nobody can change the mistakes they made, but everybody can make a better future, although it will never be the same. The same happiness, sadness, experience... whatever.Today it all seems like a test. No, not a game. A test of life, where the question is:

'What have you learned?'

Sometimes if you desire something too much, it can destroy you. It takes a long while before you notice what happened and why. You see what was meant to be.Be happy for what you received! Remember, because nobody can take away your memories! They are untouchable. They live as long as there is someone who will remember.I will remember this day. How could I forget? It should be a day of celebration...My words are not intended to hurt you. All of you should learn to reach deeper. That is the goal in learning. That is the way it goes.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title page

INTRODUCTION

Dedication

Making A Song

Cry Of The Soul

To Touch The Stars For Once

Steps

Time

Twilight

Judgment Day